This is the first New Year’s I’ve looked forward to in a looong time.
I’ve typically (inwardly) rolled my eyes at people who make goals for the New Year (sweet of me, I know). I tend to get cynical and think, “Really? You’re going to work out 5 times a week before work when you haven’t worked out in ages? How long can that really last?” Maybe it’s cynicism, maybe it’s a little jealousy (everyone seems more put together/motivated/awesome than you, don’t they?); it’s probably a little bit of both. So I haven’t made New Year’s goals in over ten years probably.
But this year is different.
I’m actually really excited about 2018. I can feel it in my bones that there are going to be some major shifts happening in my life in this upcoming year, shifts I’ve been yearning for and working towards for some time now.
What’s also different is that I’m not making goals all of a sudden. Instead of making goals, I’m making change. And here’s the difference…
For most of my life, I have made many of my decisions from a place of fear: fear of change, fear of regret, fear of what people will think, fear of looking foolish, fear of instability, etc. So I have stick with a situation, a job, or a relationship longer than I should sometimes. Why? Because (a) I’m loyal to a fault and (b) I’m afraid of what will happen if I leave that situation/job/relationship.
What will so-and-so think of me?
What will I do for income?
What if it all doesn’t work out?
What if this is as good as it gets?
I then start to panic and I decide to not leave that situation/job/relationship because I’m afraid and/or I feel overwhelmed.
I, of course, think it’s wise to think through any major decision, but sometimes we don’t think our decisions through; rather, we just talk ourselves out of it. We let fear become the boss of us.
And when we let fear become the boss of us, it usually doesn’t end up well.*
If we actually sat down and faced our fears head on as Tim Ferris shares here, we’d find that our fears hold virtually no weight. Our fears tend to be larger-than-life in our heads but quite small and sometimes not even possible when it comes down to it. (Watch Ferris’ video above to dive into that more).
Another great way to put it is to ask yourself this: is this decision you’re making (whether it’s to stay or leave a situation/job/relationship/etc) make you feel like you’re expanding or contracting?*
And the truth is this: we always know the answer to that question. We always know if our decision is causing us to expand or contract. And life is about tuning into that knowing…tuning in to your gut/intuition.
So for the year of 2018 I’ve made some pretty bold decisions… because through my work with my therapist and life coach and mentor (I cover all my bases;), I’ve become incredibly aware of the areas in my life that are operating from a place of fear or a place of smallness. I’m wanting to operate from a place of love and growth and expansion this upcoming year. I don’t want to shrink back and stay small, quiet and timid. I want to be bold, brave, and to go after the dreams of my life like my life depends on it because, well, my life does!
This is my one life – I can either let life happen to me or I can decide to go after life and create the life I want to live!
So instead of merely writing down goals on a piece of paper (though writing down goals is definitely key to growing!), I’ve actually made decisions. I’ve said goodbye to some pretty significant things in my life in order to make room for the things I want, things I’m going after, and things that are heading my way.
It’s a little scary, of course, but I get even more scared of a complacent life where I never took the risks I wanted to take. In fact, one of my biggest regrets to this day is from 2003 when I decided to not go on a once-in-a-lifetime trip with a group of amazing people because I found it too difficult to take off work from my three jobs at the time and to lose my income from that one week off. Years later I was bemoaning the fact that I missed out on this trip with an older, wise friend of mine who had organized that trip, and he said to me:
“I have found in my lifetime that I tend to only regret things of omission, not commission.”
That has stuck with me all these years.
Yes, sometimes we may regret doing something, but more often than not, we regret not doing something, whether it’s not going on that extravagant trip, not following up with that person you wanted to date, not quitting your job and going after your dream job, or whathaveyou. So this year, for 2018, I’m changing that. As the amazing Alison posted recently on her IG account:
“…[this year] has been all about allowing myself to let go of things that used to serve me, but no longer do. Allowing parts of myself to dim so other [parts] can grow brighter.”
Yes! This is what I want for myself in 2018! A brave and bold year for a brave and bold me. <3
And I can tell you this – to the few things I’ve said goodbye to over the past few months, my life has become so much healthier and happier than I would have thought possible! I feel more empowered, I am more excited about life than I have been in a long time, and I am surrounded with a community that believes in me, supports me, and cheers me on. And this is only the beginning! What other goodness is headed my way in 2018??
So bring it on, 2018! I’m ready for you. The question is: are you ready for me? (<– cheesy, I know, but it’s really how I feel!)
I’ll end today’s post with some more wisdom from Alison’s IG post above:
“…if you want to let go of something you think MAKES you YOU, but no longer serves you, do it. You can always pick it back up again later if you want.”
It’s a New Year. So let go of what you feel called to let go so your arms are free to receive what’s headed your way. <3 It’s going to be a beautiful year!
*words spoken by my amazing life coach Stephen Lovegrove – check him out!