Category: Hot Mess

Breathe

I have a dear friend whom I knew for years before I ever learned she was a secret poet.
We’ve laughed together, cried together, raised our kids together. We’ve had deep conversations, hard conversations, and life-giving discussions. And yet this poetic side of her was always kept in the dark.

I don?t remember what made her send me one of her poems that first time, but I am so grateful she did. Not only because her writings are awe-inspiring, but because I was grateful [ READ MORE... ]

Living Shame-Free

(13 minute read – Sermon from 9/22/2016)
(In the first few seconds of my audio recording I’m choking back tears but I sound normal after that:)

I love Brene Brown’s definition of shame. She describes it as the intensely painful feeling that we are unworthy of love and belonging. 

In other words, shame is the fear of disconnection, the idea that something about me makes me unworthy of love and belonging.

Shame is the phrase ?I?m not ________ enough.? [ READ MORE... ]

Pain and Loss and My First Tattoo

Friends tease me about the fact that I find papercuts painful and that I hyperventilate whenever I get poked with a needle. (thanks to having donated my plasma one too many times in college). But giving birth without meds? No problem. It hurts, but pushing a baby out seems natural to me; stabbing my skin with metal (aka a needle) is not natural to me, which does something to my psyche and causes me to freak out (being an HSP probably [ READ MORE... ]

When Parenthood Sucks

It’s been one of those days… one of those really bad days as a parent.

Where you no longer think happy thoughts but only angry thoughts that are fueled by sleep-deprivation and toddler temper tantrums of epic proportions. Where all joy and happiness that exists in this world are suddenly gone, vaporized by the volcano of chaos that?s erupted in your home. Where on the outside of your four walls, you look like any other typical happy small family on the neighborhood block. But [ READ MORE... ]

Everybody Sucks (at something)

Everybody Sucks (4)

My sister-in-law and I were talking on the phone a couple weeks ago about what triggers our insecurities, particularly as women and for me as a mom, and the expected responsibilities each role assumes. We shared a couple stories of people we know who seem to do the whole wife/life thing so much better than we do and the anxiety and stress that causes us as a result. Because, naturally, we compare. Such as…

If THAT person?s a stay-at-home parent like me and their house [ READ MORE... ]

The Irony of Motherhood

As a mother, I am so incredibly fried.

Anyone else feeling that way?

I have an amazing husband and 3 beautiful children and yet…

the sleep deprivation, the discipline, the nursing, the changing of diapers, the battles at bedtime, the sibling fights, the messes, the dishes, the laundry, the toys, the lack of privacy, the constant ?mom! mom! mom!?, the nagging, the tattling, the grocery shopping, the grocery bill, THE EXHAUSTION OF IT ALL is enough for me to want to curl up in a [ READ MORE... ]

TGIF! or is it?

(Image: Stuart Richards)

Friday is always a glorious day. It means the long week is finally coming to a close. It means John is going to be home to help out with the kiddos and the house. And it means I can actually try to get some last minute chores done around the house to make it look like I’ve been picking up all week because, you know, appearance is what I value most. 😉

Today Mercy had no school due to Parent Teacher Conferences, and I would be lying if I didn?t say I [ READ MORE... ]

It’s Happening, Folks…

Well, we are officially at 40 weeks over here! Which means baby will be arriving any day now, whether I’m ready or not. It’s still surreal to think that I’ll be holding a newborn in my arms anytime now! Am I really ready for this?? Can I do the whole sleep deprivation thing all over again? Will nursing be painful? Will I completely lose my sanity with THREE kids now? are just some of the many questions running through my head late at night.

But then I read [ READ MORE... ]

9 Ways to Make an Extrovert Cry While Painting a Room

image (9)

Here’s a recap of my two days of painting our master bedroom this past Sunday and Monday and what I learned. Tuck these nuggets of wisdom away for when you consider painting on your own, fellow extroverts.

1. First, leave her by herself in the room.

This alone is likely enough to make her cry.  You can skip the next 8 steps if so.
As an extrovert, being with people is almost as important as breathing air. Relationships are life-giving to us as we love connecting and going deep [ READ MORE... ]

A BitterSweet Announcement

Change Direction by Phil Whitehouse, Flickr

January was one of the hardest months we’ve had in a long time. In fact, the other night John and I were talking about how January was the hardest month of our marriage. And in that conversation John said, “I actually think we’re entering a really hard season… it’s not going to be just the month of January.” It was sobering to soak in those words, but I knew he was right. We are just in a hard season of life right now.

As you noticed with my last post, we [ READ MORE... ]