Category: Love

A business trip to Haiti

Ahh, I’m back. What an amazing business trip to Haiti.

A business trip to Haiti? Isn’t that a place you do mission trips to instead? you might be asking.

Yes, it is a country that has had a lot of mission trips to, which is part of the reason why it took me 3 years to finally decide to sign up for a business trip to that country. Because I?ve learned a lot over the past few years how many mission trips aren?t the most beneficial, and, in fact, can be quite harmful to the [ READ MORE... ]

When Grief and Love Collide

Whiplash and grief. These two words were given to me by my therapist on my visit to her office last Spring after I shared with her all that went down in my life the previous two years. These two words accurately described those tumultuous years. When I first arrived at my therapist’s office, I felt disoriented. Not lost but definitely at a loss.

Judah was 6 months old at this time, and I was still reeling from his unexpected presence in my life. I fell in love with Judah [ READ MORE... ]

Being a bartender made me a better Christian

The first time I encountered alcohol in my life was in third grade.

My friend invited me over to her house to play after school one day, and when I walked in, I saw her dad in a recliner holding a bottle of beer and watching tv. I froze and felt a rising inward panic.

Why, you may ask?

Because as a kid, I understood alcohol as a bad thing. And in my kid logic, that meant bad people drank alcohol and alcohol made people do bad things.

All I remember from that day was watching her dad from the kitchen, [ READ MORE... ]

Living Shame-Free

(13 minute read – Sermon from 9/22/2016)
(In the first few seconds of my audio recording I’m choking back tears but I sound normal after that:)

I love Brene Brown’s definition of shame. She describes it as the intensely painful feeling that we are unworthy of love and belonging. 

In other words, shame is the fear of disconnection, the idea that something about me makes me unworthy of love and belonging.

Shame is the phrase ?I?m not ________ enough.? [ READ MORE... ]

Divorcing Mamas: You Are Not Alone

You guys… my friends are being abused; their children are being abused. This is not a joke. This is their reality and they’re opening up to me about it. And the hesitancy and the fear these women have had in telling me and their loved ones about the abuse is palpable. And it makes me realize two things:

  1. Domestic abuse has got to stop. Now.
  2. We have to create a culture where women feel safe to tell their loved ones that they are in a toxic and/or abusive marriage and need to get out.

In the past 6 months, I have had more women come out to me about abuse and infidelity in their marriages than I can keep count. It’s heartbreaking and it’s horrifying.

The [ READ MORE... ]

My Unexpected Healer

As you all know, it’s been a couple crazy years for us. We’ve experienced job insecurity, financial loss, broken relationships, adoption delay, and an unexpected third child – and that’s just in our personal lives. Add to this the ongoing injustices done to black, brown, queer, and/or female bodies in our nation, and I find myself reeling from hurt and pain, anger and rage.

How easy it is to live in love towards one another and yet it seems so [ READ MORE... ]

Pain and Loss and My First Tattoo

Friends tease me about the fact that I find papercuts painful and that I hyperventilate whenever I get poked with a needle. (thanks to having donated my plasma one too many times in college). But giving birth without meds? No problem. It hurts, but pushing a baby out seems natural to me; stabbing my skin with metal (aka a needle) is not natural to me, which does something to my psyche and causes me to freak out (being an HSP probably [ READ MORE... ]

The Sun Will Rise

(11 minute read – Sermon from 6/16/2016)

If you’ve been listening to the news this past week, you’ve likely been reminded of all that’s wrong in this world. Where the beauty and hope and love you started believing in seems to have been swallowed up in the recent tragedies that have swept our nation.

So tonight I’m hoping to do more of a poetic or liturgical sermon. Where the first half of the sermon will be on the brokenness of this world, and the last [ READ MORE... ]

Everybody Sucks (at something)

Everybody Sucks (4)

My sister-in-law and I were talking on the phone a couple weeks ago about what triggers our insecurities, particularly as women and for me as a mom, and the expected responsibilities each role assumes. We shared a couple stories of people we know who seem to do the whole wife/life thing so much better than we do and the anxiety and stress that causes us as a result. Because, naturally, we compare. Such as…

If THAT person?s a stay-at-home parent like me and their house [ READ MORE... ]

My homebirth with Judah

(Trigger: this post contains detailed accounts of birth and pain)

For those of you who are friends with me on social media, you’ve already seen some of our photos from our homebirth. And can I just say how thankful I am for our photographers? They sure captured such beautiful moments that day! Thank you so much Erica Morrow Photography and St. Paul Photo Co.!

For those interested, I thought I?d give a summary of our birthing day, especially since this was our last (home)birth. This post [ READ MORE... ]