Category: Thankful

When Your Dream Finally Comes True

I have always envied the people who’ve known what they’ve wanted to do since they were young. Whether that’s being a dentist or teacher or family business owner.

How beautiful it must be to know what you want and to go after it.

I, on the other hand, have spent the past 30+ years of my life trying to figure out what I want to do with my life. And that’s largely because I want to try my hand at just about everything.

You can see that desire of mine in the list of jobs I?ve [ READ MORE... ]

A business trip to Haiti

Ahh, I’m back. What an amazing business trip to Haiti.

A business trip to Haiti? Isn’t that a place you do mission trips to instead? you might be asking.

Yes, it is a country that has had a lot of mission trips to, which is part of the reason why it took me 3 years to finally decide to sign up for a business trip to that country. Because I?ve learned a lot over the past few years how many mission trips aren?t the most beneficial, and, in fact, can be quite harmful to the [ READ MORE... ]

Sleep = Joy. Pretty much.

I know I’ve blogged quite a bit about the hardships in life, and I don’t mean to be a downer with my writing. I guess I’m so busy surviving the chaotic stage of raising littles that when I do get a few moments to myself, I just want to be real. And if we can’t be real with one another, then what’s the point in life?

Add the fact that I tend to be a pretty serious person, it?s kind of no surprise that my writings tend to be more on the serious side. And John [ READ MORE... ]

When Grief and Love Collide

Whiplash and grief. These two words were given to me by my therapist on my visit to her office last Spring after I shared with her all that went down in my life the previous two years. These two words accurately described those tumultuous years. When I first arrived at my therapist’s office, I felt disoriented. Not lost but definitely at a loss.

Judah was 6 months old at this time, and I was still reeling from his unexpected presence in my life. I fell in love with Judah [ READ MORE... ]

Being a bartender made me a better Christian

The first time I encountered alcohol in my life was in third grade.

My friend invited me over to her house to play after school one day, and when I walked in, I saw her dad in a recliner holding a bottle of beer and watching tv. I froze and felt a rising inward panic.

Why, you may ask?

Because as a kid, I understood alcohol as a bad thing. And in my kid logic, that meant bad people drank alcohol and alcohol made people do bad things.

All I remember from that day was watching her dad from the kitchen, [ READ MORE... ]

My Unexpected Healer

As you all know, it’s been a couple crazy years for us. We’ve experienced job insecurity, financial loss, broken relationships, adoption delay, and an unexpected third child – and that’s just in our personal lives. Add to this the ongoing injustices done to black, brown, queer, and/or female bodies in our nation, and I find myself reeling from hurt and pain, anger and rage.

How easy it is to live in love towards one another and yet it seems so [ READ MORE... ]

The Irony of Motherhood

As a mother, I am so incredibly fried.

Anyone else feeling that way?

I have an amazing husband and 3 beautiful children and yet…

the sleep deprivation, the discipline, the nursing, the changing of diapers, the battles at bedtime, the sibling fights, the messes, the dishes, the laundry, the toys, the lack of privacy, the constant ?mom! mom! mom!?, the nagging, the tattling, the grocery shopping, the grocery bill, THE EXHAUSTION OF IT ALL is enough for me to want to curl up in a [ READ MORE... ]

My homebirth with Judah

(Trigger: this post contains detailed accounts of birth and pain)

For those of you who are friends with me on social media, you’ve already seen some of our photos from our homebirth. And can I just say how thankful I am for our photographers? They sure captured such beautiful moments that day! Thank you so much Erica Morrow Photography and St. Paul Photo Co.!

For those interested, I thought I?d give a summary of our birthing day, especially since this was our last (home)birth. This post [ READ MORE... ]

Celebrating Our Unexpected Gift

FullSizeRender

Friends, we are 5 weeks into postpartum, and while my brain is fried from sleep deprivation, my heart is so very full.

Holding sweet Judah in my arms has changed so many things for me.

Before he was born, I was nervous I wouldn’t feel bonded to him. I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to love him as much as I love our girls. I feared the unknown.

But once he was in my arms and I was able to take in all his tiny features and kiss his squishy cheeks, the love in my heart exploded and [ READ MORE... ]

Exchanging my Regret for our Gift

image (12)

First time writing in baby’s journal

Guys. We are just 1 week’ish away from baby being here. I can’t believe it! He’s moving around like crazy and causing me to pee every hour but even with the interrupted sleep and my terribly slow waddle, I am FINALLY, finally at a place where I feel ready to welcome him at his birth. Let me explain.

As most of you know, this sweet baby was a ?whoops?. We didn?t mean to get pregnant. And because of that reason, this pregnancy has been the most emotional pregnancy [ READ MORE... ]