Tag: Hope

When Grief and Love Collide

Whiplash and grief. These two words were given to me by my therapist on my visit to her office last Spring after I shared with her all that went down in my life the previous two years. These two words accurately described those tumultuous years. When I first arrived at my therapist’s office, I felt disoriented. Not lost but definitely at a loss.

Judah was 6 months old at this time, and I was still reeling from his unexpected presence in my life. I fell in love with Judah [ READ MORE... ]

Breathe

I have a dear friend whom I knew for years before I ever learned she was a secret poet.
We’ve laughed together, cried together, raised our kids together. We’ve had deep conversations, hard conversations, and life-giving discussions. And yet this poetic side of her was always kept in the dark.

I don?t remember what made her send me one of her poems that first time, but I am so grateful she did. Not only because her writings are awe-inspiring, but because I was grateful [ READ MORE... ]

Divorcing Mamas: You Are Not Alone

You guys… my friends are being abused; their children are being abused. This is not a joke. This is their reality and they’re opening up to me about it. And the hesitancy and the fear these women have had in telling me and their loved ones about the abuse is palpable. And it makes me realize two things:

  1. Domestic abuse has got to stop. Now.
  2. We have to create a culture where women feel safe to tell their loved ones that they are in a toxic and/or abusive marriage and need to get out.

In the past 6 months, I have had more women come out to me about abuse and infidelity in their marriages than I can keep count. It’s heartbreaking and it’s horrifying.

The [ READ MORE... ]

My Unexpected Healer

As you all know, it’s been a couple crazy years for us. We’ve experienced job insecurity, financial loss, broken relationships, adoption delay, and an unexpected third child – and that’s just in our personal lives. Add to this the ongoing injustices done to black, brown, queer, and/or female bodies in our nation, and I find myself reeling from hurt and pain, anger and rage.

How easy it is to live in love towards one another and yet it seems so [ READ MORE... ]

To Moms Who Feel Like Failures

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This winter was the hardest winter our family has experienced in the past six years.

Having lost our income for several months to becoming unexpectedly pregnant to letting go of a lifelong dream as well as having my best friend be nearly killed by a drunk driver, I had hit a new low as a wife, mom, and friend.

The problem with hitting a new low, however, is that life must go on. I still have to take care of our children, I still have to be a wife, and I even have to take a shower [ READ MORE... ]

On Letting Go… and Letting In

Letting go…isn’t easy. It’s hard, it hurts, and sometimes it just plain ol’ sucks.

Two and a half years ago, when I was pregnant with Eden, slowly but surely a passion began to grow in me… a passion that made me see the world differently. A passion that made me excited to have more kids. A passion that fueled our family’s efforts to raise thousands of dollars in order to expand our family after Eden. A passion that only grew with each passing day.

A passion [ READ MORE... ]

The Ups and Downs of Adoption

Prayer by Leland Francisco, Flickr

Prayer by Leland Francisco, Flickr

I feel like this picture perfectly captures the state of my heart and mind these past couple weeks.

Our adoption process is only beginning and I’m already an emotional wreck. Goodness knows what I’m going to look like 6 months from now. 😀 Don’t mind me if I have bags under my eyes and wear hats to hide my hideousness. 😉

Before we started the adoption process, I prayed a lot about our adoption, particularly about the financial aspect of it. In the past year and a half that I?ve [ READ MORE... ]

A Shattered Heart Begs for Forgiveness

Tonight* I am so angry. So, so angry.
My heart is filled with such heavy sorrow. Oh my heart.

My body is physically ill, to the point where I feel like I’m gagging on my heart between my sobs. I feel so sick.

Tonight I watched the movie Philomena. The past few weeks I?ve been wanting to check out our local dollar theater, and I saw this movie listed on their building. I looked it up and the description intrigued me. But as the story goes, parents with young kids hardly, [ READ MORE... ]